Building on this foundation, St Augustine (in the portion of his homily appointed by the breviary) brought to our minds what often fuels our forgiveness; namely, not charity and love for the brother, but rather love for ourselves. In today's parlance that would be the desire to "move on" and "put it behind me" and "be done with it."
In the same way, for selfish ends (i.e., to prove ourselves right and to win the argument), we eagerly approach others to point out their faults and flaws and sins. Regrettably, with blogging, we've honed this selfish skill all the more. We are very quick to point out another's flaws not to his face, but in cyberspace; not for his benefit, but to "out" him; and not with the intent to gain him, but anonymously so that he knows not how to reply or to whom he should apologize.
The sainted bishop of Hippo suggests rather pointedly that this selfish notion of finger-pointing rather than loving correction cheapens forgiveness. Here is what I found most striking from the blessed saint's words (cast in a modern idiom), and upon which I will endeavor to meditate today.
Why should you tell your brother his fault? Is it because he pained you by trespassing against you? God forbid! For if, out of love for yourself, you tell your brother his fault, you have not done a worthy thing. But if you tell him his fault because you love him, then you have done exceedingly well.
Listen carefully to the words of the Gospel and learn whether you ought to tell your brother his fault because you love yourself or because you love him. The Lord says, "If he shall hear you, you have gained your brother." Therefore, demand of yourself that you tell your brother his fault for his benefit, so that you may gain him. If you do this, perhaps you may attain this great reward--gaining him. But if you do otherwise, perhaps he may perish.